Consumerism And The Dreams Of Christmas

Here's a piece that I wrote a few years ago about one of the things that I don't like about Christmas.

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The mere mention of Christmas brings out the worst of the rabid consumer in us. Sales, price markdowns, clearance, early-bird specials, late-night hours, stocking- stuffers, no payments until the first of the year, blah blah blah blah fuck it.

Having worked three Christmas seasons at the mall in Bowling Green, Kentucky, I maintain a constant fear and loathing for the holiday shopper. Not so much fear, but more of an elevated sense of danger whenever they are within my field of vision. You don't have to work at a specific shop to know a hardcore Christmas-sale maniac when you see one. At first, you may have an odd sense of wonderment and awe seeing them in action. Coupons at the ready, tattered sales circular in their sweaty palms, bits of crackers and assorted Christmas treat crumbs clinging to whatever Cosby sweater that they have had since last year. These folks are much more than meets the untrained eye.

At first, they seem congenial and perhaps a little too enamoured with the whole 'spirit' of the holidays. Occasionally seen prancing around with smiling faces while sifting through the latest line of sweat-shop assembled fleece pull-overs at Old Navy, these people are not to be trifled with at all.

I've seen grandmothers and church deacons enflamed to near blasphemous rages when they aren't able to find the newest Britney Spears CD or tacky dress from Hot Topic that says 'doesn't play well with others'. I've seen women literally push disabled people through the doors of Best Buy just so they can be number 12 in line at the check-out counter simply because they need to get to Cracker Barrel before 11am and have fresh spiced apples and fried okra to keep their stamina going. And you'll see a lot more than that.

However, the advent of online shopping has reduced a great deal of the 'need' to shop at malls. But, for some reason, these people are insane enough to do it year after year. Knowing that children and grandchildren will be a crying, snotty-nosed mess even before they get to Bed Bath and Beyond. My question is, why do they still do it?

The answer, though hard to process, is quite simple. It's a sport to them. The suburbanite Olympics. This inherent need, this desire to compete against the neighbors on the other end of the cul-de-sac. It's bragging rights for the next 12 months when you were there, on the front lines, credit card at the ready, and you managed to score the very last boxed set of Sex In The City. Even more so when you can tell your aunt that you actually ripped that very copy from the clutches of a slightly over-weight woman with a bad perm and a sweat-shirt that said 'shop till you drop' on the front; her sagging breasts tugging at the O's in 'shop' and 'drop' making them protrude in a way that makes your husband stare in horror.

These people train all year, in silence, for this one day of coffee fueled consumer excess that is commonly known as Black Friday.

Christmas club accounts are drained in late October in preparation. Family pets begin to whimper when mom watches TV and sees an advertisement for Macy's and she leaps to her feet, screaming in delight. Baby's cry. Husbands, daughters, and sons fear sitting at the same table during dinner. It's that one time of the year when, in an adrenaline fueled orgy of spending, a woman would gladly tear another person's arms off and drink the blood that flows from the tattered stumps if she heard the words 'sold out'.

Not to sound sexist, but it is, in fact, a woman's competition. Just walk around any mall, in any city, on any day between the Friday after Thanksgiving until two days before Christmas, and you'll see more men carrying purses than you would at a drag-show. It's as if there was an alternate universe inside shopping centers that triggered a reversal of sexual and cultural norms. Men who prided themselves on their masculinity are brow-beaten by their spouses. It's truly a sight to behold. There is only one place of solice for these men in a situation such as this:

The restrooms.

It's not an uncommon sight to see the most obnoxious of the male species looking into the mirror in one of these public restrooms, convincing himself to just hold out for two more hours. Then maybe, just maybe, he can go home. And, if that doesn't work, they'll bide their time and wait until their respective spouses track them down. They will gladly take a verbal lashing rather than have to tolerate their wife's bickering while being shoved and pulled through the crowd at Ambercrombie and Fitch.

It's not all bad though, depending on your particular point-of-view.

For me, shopping online is the way to go. The only reason I go to the mall this time of year is to see these people in action. Mass consumption can take its toll on people and create monsters of many. I've never understood it, but always been fascinated with it. My only hope is, that as I grow older, I won't feel the desire to compete with them. And, I don't see that happening.

Shopping at home in your pajamas while sipping on a rum-and-coke is definitely preferable to swimming through a mass of sweaty bodies that continuously hover around the food-court while trying to buy that one last item.

And hearing N'Sync's version of Holy Jolly Christmas blaring 6 times an hours isn't exactly soothing either

Victorious Generalizations

I've asked this multiple times to multiple conservatives: What do you think victory in Iraq is?

The typical response is usually some bliteringly vague set of phrases that tend to lean more toward what "defeat" could potentially mean if in fact there wasn't a decisive victory. But at no point has any conservative that I have spoken with or any on television, in print, or online has ever been able to enumerate precisely what victory is.

Apparently Sean Hannity must know because he seems to think we gained victory in Iraq.



If one can draw any sort of conclusive statement from this, apparently Hannity's metric for victory means that the Iraqis can now enjoy a new future. Talk about generalizing the issue. I think even Sarah Palin could do a better job than that. So if Hannity calls destabilizing what was already a fragile region to begin with, paying off insurgent groups so fighting would subside momentarily while a "surge" of troop were sent in to create the illusion of clearing out all remaining groups and quelling the violence to a minimalist extent so conservatives could call THAT a "success", and validating removing a man from power who had nothing to do with Sept 11th ( and who actually was one of the first world leaders to contact the US and offer condolences for the attacks ) but was the "enemy" of Bush's father, then that's a really poor victory to latch onto.

But conservatives have never been able to clearly define a real victory that will benefit America as a whole, they're too concerned with telling everyone what failure is.

Does She Still Think She's Governor?

Sarah Palin* took to her facebook her press-conference recently and responded to statements from the Governoator regarding climate-change and Palin’s new-found stance as a Global-Warming denier.

Why is Governor Schwarzenegger pushing for the same sorts of policies in Copenhagen that have helped drive his state into record deficits and unemployment? Perhaps he will recall that I live in our nation’s only Arctic state and that I was among the first governors to create a sub-cabinet to deal specifically with climate change. While I and all Alaskans witness the impacts of changes in weather patterns firsthand, I have repeatedly said that we can’t primarily blame man’s activities for those changes. And while I did look for practical responses to those changes, what I didn’t do was hamstring Alaska’s job creators with burdensome regulations so that I could act “greener than thou” when talking to reporters

But while she and her ardent defenders will, at a moments notice, jump to her defense and claim that she is what she isn't or isn't what she is - depending on the arrangement of the talking points and who's holding the camera at the time - there is one thing that not only her fans, but Palin herself seems to have forgotten: she quit her job as Governor of Alaska.

Why are people still standing up for her?

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*there's still no proof she writes these statements herself

My Old Kentucky Home

Aside from the few bright spots within the boarders of the Bluegrass State, I am largely embarrassed to admit that I was born and raised in Kentucky. And while we are home to the most famous horse race in the world and what once was a giant amongst college basketball, the state is largely dominated by rural attitudes about race and politics.

So it's no surprise that teabaggers around here are full-tilt crazy. A small cell of the group that is now successfully fracturing the GOP invaded the offices of Republican Senator Jim Bunning and Think Progress was their to listen to their complaints:

In the conference room, the very first protester to speak said that if the country dissolved, he would move to the first state that seceded. After his speech, fellow protesters began giving their views about fascism, the President’s birth certificate, and ways to avoid paying taxes.

Make no mistake about it, when reactionary conservatives from Kentucky have a complaint about Obama, it's is most certainly based on race. But around here, conservatives don't see themselves as racists. They view it as a tradition, some bizarre time-honored school of thought that has to be instilled within the children of the state. In that regard, the statements from people like Janeane Garofalo that the "teaparties" are about racism are more accurate than the Kentucky participants are willing to admit.

It's a very peculiar state to live in while Obama is President. We've not only got racism, but we've got Mitch McConnell and potentially Rand Paul. The later is running for the Senate and is just as adle-brained as his father.

And while not everyone in the state espouses such ignorant and ill-conceived ideals as the teabaggers, it unfortunate that those voices of reason are too often drowned out by the shriek and cries of conservatives.

Some Music For The Holidays

Even though I'm an unapologetic liberal/progressive Democrat, I still get a kick out of Christmas and the surrounding Holidays every now and again. Here's two unconventional Christmas songs and The Boss to start your day with.

The Flaming Lips: Christmas At The Zoo



Dar Williams: The Chritians And The Pagans




Bruce Springsteen - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Shorter Glenn Beck

Beck Defends Founding Fathers’ Decision To Count African-Americans As Three-Fifths Of A Person

You see, The Founders didn't really own slaves, they just had really close relationships with them. The Constitution was written with their express interests in mind. They loved black people, even gave them their own living quarters and everything.

Random Video Action

Conservatives Own Email-Gate Is Brewing

Well, look what we found - 22 million emails from the Bush administration that were allegedly "lost". And the timeline for these just happens to coincide with the Plame Affair. Perhaps this story will reveal more conservative hypocrisy in regards to revelations of information contained in email correspondence.

The discovery was announced Monday by the National Security Archive and Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, or CREW, which filed lawsuits against the Executive Office of the President, or EOP, over the e-mails in 2007.

The two groups had initially filed a Freedom of Information Act request for e-mails in the wake of a scandal involving the Justice Department, which had fired U.S. attorneys around the country in an apparent political bid to rid the department of prosecutors who didn’t adhere to the White House’s conservative agenda. The missing e-mails were also potentially crucial to the investigation into the Valerie Plame–CIA leak scandal.

These emails will now be cataloged in the National Archives and made part of the public domain. Potentially there is information contained within that will show not only the corrupt nature of the Bush Justice Department but also that Plame's outing by Dick Cheney and his staff was illegal. Could formal charges finally be brought against Cheney? Could "Scooter" Libby face more charges or would that fall under the "no double jeopardy" rule?

This story has the potential to spell big trouble for former Bush administration officials, and the spin from conservatives will likely be quite dizzying.

The Distinguished Gentleman From Minnesota

Why can't Kentucky have a senator like Al Franken?



People like O'Reilly think they diminish Franken's knowledge and his abilities as a Senator by pointing out that he started out as a comedian. The reality of this is in fact, yes, he was a comedian and now he's a fantastic Senator that knows more about policy than a thousand O'Reillys.

I won't say that conservatives that continually downplay Franken's political acumen are afraid of him, but they certainly aren't going to admit that he knows more than them and does not fall prey to the trappings of inflammatory rhetoric and fear-mongering like his Republican counterparts.

Progress Report

Much is being made about Obama's "self-evaluation" for his first year as President. From the more predictable tirades from the far-right calling this ego-driven blather to tebaggers equating this with Obama claiming that he can perform complex brain-surgery, I would honestly have to say I don't agree with any of it - including Obama's assertion that he gets a B+.



From my perspective, he gets a C. He's passing, but can do better.

Here's a list of things that I believe he needs to do in order to get that grade up.

1 - Veto any healthcare legislation that does not include a Public Option. While I am of the belief that this country would be better off under a Single Payer structure, a "robust" Public Option is light-years away better than what the Senate has done to reform up to today.

2 - He needs to answer his critics in a more direct fashion. When people like Dick and Liz Cheney essentially calling you a traitor, you should respond. If you've got people like the teabaggers railing that you weren't born in the US, you respond. The only problem is creating the illusion that these questions and concerns are far more valid than they are.

3 - Don't continually give ground to Republicans if they aren't willing to meet you half way. Far too often, Obama and his administration have given Republicans chance after chance with no common ground being met - only obstructionism and fear mongering from those same Republicans that clamour for "bi-partisanship".

4 - No secret deals with Wall-Street or big corporations. Sever all ties with them and the people will rally around you more than ever. This alleged deal with PhRMA and the White House has twisted healthcare reform into something almost unrecognizable. Get all administration officials with close relationships with Wall-Street out ( ie: Geithner and Paulson )

5 - Increase transparency. While it appears that a large portion of what has gone on since Jan 20th has been open to the public, there is a lot more that we need to see. Naturally, there are things that can't be due to security and classification issues, but I am speaking from a realistic standpoint. If it doesn't violate any previously established laws that prevent revealing info/documents to the public, be up front about it.

6 - Get out of Iraq and Afghanistan completely. The Bush administration pulled focus from the initial mission not only when Iraq was invaded by when he lost Bin Laden in Tora Bora. We don't need to be occupying either country any longer. The Focus should be on domestic security and finding key Al Queada in Pakistan with a reasoned time-table and goals for that. We are dangerously close to nation-building in Afghanistan and that is something that we don't need to be doing

These key points are what Obama can definitely improve on. As of right now he's lost enough ground that conservatives feel they've gained the upper hand, but there's time enough to correct the mistakes of this first year. Obama doesn't need to be a one-term President - his goals are noble and will benefit this country no matter what elements from the Right may think