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Monday, August 16, 2010

Fucking Epic!!!!! Maybe

I'm starting to wonder exactly what is going to happen at Beck's "No This Isn't About Martin Luther King Even Though It's The Anniversary Of His Historic Speech At The Same Location" '8/28' Rally. He keeps hyping it up so much that I wonder if there's going to be a Black Oak Arkansas reunion where Beck will ascend 50 feet up in the air and then charge at Mach 3 to the nearest liquor store and proceed to intravenously imbibe all the Jagermeister within a 45 second time frame while simultaneously reciting Ulysses in Mandarin Chinese. Now THAT, I would actually pay $4.95 to see.



I love how this whole "returning to God" meme has taken hold of Beck, and that he insists that anyone not "connected" to his God will ultimately be forgotten, be washed away by history. I suppose that someone should tell most of the historical figures in history ( who happened to conquer most of the known world in their time ) that they are now officially irrelevant in Beck's eyes as they didn't worship his God.

That aside, I'm reminded of how conservatives have to have this numerical tag applied to almost all of their rhetorical flourishes. 9/11, 8/28, 2010, 9/12, et al. It's like the mind of the commercialist conservative has become so compartmentalized that in order for them to recall anything even moderately adjacent to socio-political history that is has to be reduced to a 4-character hashtag.

Random aside: I wonder what image we would get if we graph these numbers out at X / Y coordinates? Likely nothing as interesting as the Fibonacci Circle. There's more of a chance that we would end up with a slightly less flattering rendering of Ronald Reagan and Alfred E. Newman's illegitimate love child.

But back to Beck's "rally".

Here's what will ultimately happen.

1. Beck and all his mouth-agape conservative followers will claim that an unnamed university has used a "body spacing" technique to conclude that 1/3 the population of America attended the rally.

2. There will be black people there. There will be no less than a week's worth of coverage from virtually every program on Fox"News" about it. But rest assured that black people are coming - lots of them.

3. No racists will be in attendance. Well, none that Fox"News" will report on.

4. The crowd will be completely comprised of "Independent" voters.

5. Hey, did I mention that there would be some black people there twoo?

6. The only media covering the event that showed the "real people" there will be Fox"News" and those that edit the tapes that Breitbart uses.

7. Did I say black people yet?

It's really a shame that I live so far from DC, as I would so love to attend this blatantly coattail-riding, hyperbolic stuffed, meme-fest. But alas, I will be waiting beside my desktop for Chase Whiteside to do glide through the crowd and show us what's really going on.

1 comment:

Darius Whiteplume said...

If I say "oy vey!" will I too be forgotten by history?

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